Red Sox All-Star Jarren Duran says he attempted suicide during mental health struggles

Boston’s All-Star outfielder Jarren Duran said he tried to take his own life as he struggled with his mental health during the 2021 and 2022 seasons.

In the Netflix docuseries The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox the 28-year-old said struggles with his form during his rookie season in 2021 deeply affect him. His life was saved when he tried to shoot himself but the gun did not go off.

“I was already hearing it from fans,” Duran says in the series, which premieres in the US on Tuesday. “And what they said to me, [it was like], ‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror.’ That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.

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“... I got to a point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened. So, to this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason’, so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off. I was like, ‘Do I want to be here or do I not want to be here?’ That happened for a reason and obviously, you’re here for a reason so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] you want to play and live the way you want to live.”

Red Sox CEO Sam Kennedy praised Duran’s honesty. “Jarren’s decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball,” Kennedy said in a statement. “By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential.”

Duran said he now journals to maintain his mental health and writes reminders to help himself focus.

“On [the tape on] my left wrist, I write, ‘Fuck ‘em,’ because it’s me telling my demons, ‘You’re not going to faze me’,” Duran says in the docuseries. “And on my right wrist, I write, ‘Still alive’ because I’m still here and I’m still fighting.”

Duran had the best season of his career in 2024 and was named an All-Star for the first time, recording career highs in home runs (21), runs (111), RBI (75) and stolen bases (34). He was also suspended two games for shouting a homophobic slur at a fan who heckled him. Duran later apologized for using what he called “a truly horrific word” and issued an apology to the LGBTQ community.

• In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org